(0:07) Top us and stroll the Riviera. (0:09) Not watch defenseless animals get killed. (0:11) It's just a pit stop.(0:13) Afterwards, we'll hit up the flamingo thing you wanted. (0:15) Flamingo? It's art through dance. (0:25) Now watch your dad work his magic.(0:28) Hey, pal. (0:29) You got three punctured organs and 30 seconds to live. (0:33) Any unfulfilled desires from your tragically short life? (0:44) What if I could give you that dream after you die? (0:47) That you could have the freedom to fish, grain, and soul grind for eternity under my care.(0:52) All you have to do is sell me your soul. (0:54) Uh, yeah, don't do it. (0:56) Just spit here.(0:57) Spit. Spit right there. Spit.(1:03) Jesus Christ. (1:03) Congrats, sweetie. (1:05) You just witnessed your first soul collection.(1:07) Yeah, congrats. (1:08) You duped a guy into signing a contract he didn't even read to go where and do what exactly? (1:13) I just fulfilled his ultimate desire. (1:15) Dude, I've heard street preachers warn about eternal damnation.(1:18) I've seen Little Nicky. (1:19) Western culture's given you a misguided view of how I operate. (1:22) I'm actually very above board, morally speaking.(1:25) Then, like, show me his eternity under your care. (1:27) I mean, if you want me to consent to join his siren seed someday, (1:31) I gotta know what I'm consenting to, right? (1:33) Exactly. (1:34) It's about fucking time.Come on. (1:37) Hot damn. (1:41) You're gonna love this place so much, you're gonna want to kill yourself to join.(1:45) Don't yet, okay? (1:47) Yet? (1:57) Welcome to my soul hole. (2:00) Take a whiff. (2:01) What the fuck? (2:02) The smell is my favorite part.(2:04) Sit on me. (2:05) I'm a shazlout. (2:08) Sing Billy Joel to me.It's the only thing that makes me cum. (2:11) Morally above board, huh? (2:13) Well, the thing is, you see, souls are super valuable because they power the universe. (2:17) This is a tiny collection compared to my soul imperium in hell, but I'm seeing steady growth.(2:21) So, you trick innocent people into signing up for this torture porn flop house so you can have more power. (2:26) Well, it's not torture. (2:27) What you're seeing is absolute free will.(2:30) Look at our friend over there, rollerblading around the room. (2:33) Happier than a pig in shit. (2:35) I guess.(2:41) What the fuck? You call that free will? (2:43) Yeah. See, that guy wants a rollerblade. (2:46) Those guys want to eat rollerbladers.(2:48) Free will means no limits. (2:49) They'll regenerate eventually. (2:51) So he can do it all over again? (2:52) Yeah, that's the way it works here.(2:54) Man, this is some real messed up libertarian bullshit. (2:57) How are you being pretty reductive? (2:59) Oh, fuck yes, they're here. (3:01) Oh, yeah, I think that's my cue to skedaddle.(3:03) Snapetharm said he'd introduce me to the step-up franchise, (3:06) and between a hot, sweaty Channing and that burger gobbler... (3:09) The whole can be overwhelming, but seeing newbies arrive will change you forever. (3:13) Fine, but this is your last chance before I stand my Chan. (3:17) Goddamn, I love that Chan.(3:19) Hey, Charm. (3:20) Hey, Laura, what's up? (3:20) Yeah, so I caught Erwin hoarding anger leeches for his substitute teaching gig, (3:25) so I set off a bug bomb to prevent another infestation. (3:27) Can I crash here for the night? (3:29) Oh, sorry, Laura, it's not a good time.(3:31) Try the Tongue Sense. (3:32) Their normcore lifestyle screams barfy bad. (3:35) You're the only neighbor I haven't threatened physical violence to, so... (3:37) Fine, fine, come on in.(3:39) Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! (3:41) Oh, well, you must be exhausted from your bug massacre or whatever. (3:44) Let's get you to bed. (3:46) Bed? (3:46) It's 8.35. (3:47) Okay, here's a pillow, there's the bed, you know what to do.(3:49) Ah, hey, Darlene. (3:50) Night, Laura. (3:51) What the... Are you kidding me? (3:52) Is this because I wouldn't go see Sade with you? (3:56) Ah! (3:57) Hello? (3:59) Darlene? (4:01) Ew.(4:02) Okay. (4:04) Holy shit, this place looks a lot smaller on the outside. (4:09) Ah, there we go.(4:10) Mama needs her medicine. (4:12) What do we got here? (4:13) I want that brown stuff. (4:16) Couple of cubes of ice in that, please.(4:18) Hey, I was saving that for a special occasion. (4:22) Gus, are you okay? (4:23) What did she do to you? (4:24) Gus? (4:24) I'm okay, Leni. (4:25) I just got the bejeezus scared out of me, that's all.(4:27) Made a little piss. (4:28) Wait a minute, Darlene, you know this ghost? (4:30) Laura, this is my husband. (4:32) Ex-husband.(4:33) Who are you, a wrestling coach? (4:40) Why do all dads like boats? (4:43) Was there a meeting or something? (4:44) Wait till you see how excited they get. (4:46) It's like a baby eating chocolate for the first time. (4:50) All right, here we go.(4:53) Any minute now. (4:57) Huh, where are my fucking souls? (4:59) Uh, that might explain it. (5:02) Dear Satan, thanks for the souls.(5:04) Big ol' Haim will pay big bucks for them. (5:07) Eat shit! (5:08) Marv the Beast God! (5:09) That backstabbing son of a... (5:11) Who's Big ol' Haim? (5:12) Big ol' Haim's not a person, it's a place. (5:14) The hub of the soul trade.(5:16) A funhouse trash heap where corporate con artists (5:19) trick souls into eternal suffering (5:21) by offering rollercoaster rides and branded swag. (5:25) We gotta get my souls back before it's too late. (5:27) Those souls sound better off in Big ol' Haim (5:29) than your soul bowl.(5:30) Soul hole. (5:31) And didn't you hear what I just said about Big ol' Haim? (5:33) Yeah, branded swag, rollercoasters. (5:36) It sounds cool.(5:36) Man, your selective hearing is on fire today. (5:39) It's an evil place, Chrissy. (5:40) And this isn't? (5:41) I think you've been sniffing your own farts (5:43) for way too long.(5:44) You're gonna wish you were eating my farts (5:45) once I show you a place of torture and torment. (5:48) We're going to Big ol' Haim! (5:51) Relax your grip, baby. (5:52) I thought both your exes ran off with Russian catfishers.(5:55) Oh, that was hubbies one and two. (5:56) Gus was number three. (5:58) We were in the process of mending fences when he died.(6:00) One moment, (6:01) I'm getting my new Craigslist business up and running. (6:03) The next, a weather satellite's crashing on my head. (6:05) Luck of the Slovaks, I guess.(6:07) Darlene, how long has Gus been here like that? (6:10) Uh, I noticed he was here (6:11) when my broken bidet started working again. (6:13) Gus always loved me with a clean caboose. (6:16) That was a few months back.(6:17) Months? (6:18) Oh, fuck. (6:19) What? (6:19) Ghosts can only stay on the corporeal plane (6:21) for so long before they turn into wraiths. (6:23) What? (6:23) Vengeful spirits who hunt the living (6:25) and feed off misery.(6:26) Oh, that's ridiculous. (6:27) Gus couldn't hurt a fly. (6:27) Show me where you keep your most precious memories (6:29) from your relationship.(6:30) What? Why? (6:31) Oh, man. (6:33) Uh-oh. (6:34) That doesn't look good.(6:35) Man, I'm feeling strange, Darlene. (6:37) Like when I opened that hooker restaurant (6:39) on top of that open gas line. (6:41) Do it now.(6:42) Just give me a moment to mourn that hand. (6:44) Darlene. (6:44) It did things to me you'd never believe.(6:47) Boom, boom. (6:55) Welcome to Bigelheim, (7:00) to choose your own afterlife. (7:04) My lady.(7:06) No wonder you're so sensitive (7:07) about your soul hole, Dad. (7:09) I mean, how could anyone compete with this? (7:11) Stop! (7:11) What are you doing? (7:12) We need disguises to sneak inside. (7:14) You want dibs on being the big pretzel? (7:17) No? (7:18) Okay.(7:19) Why are we sneaking? (7:20) I'm a rebel in the industry. (7:22) So much so, that I'm afraid (7:23) the Bigelheim schmucks banned me from reentering (7:25) and revoked my soul-collecting license. (7:28) Pretty rock and roll, eh? (7:29) Yeah, the Phil Spector part of rock and roll.(7:31) Phil Spector? (7:32) I love Phil Spector. (7:34) I got the Christmas album. (7:35) Welcome to Bigelheim, (7:36) where your afterlife awaits you.(7:38) You like to fuck chickens? (7:41) Come to Palamelea Afterlife and get a hug. (7:44) Two of them. (7:45) Wow.(7:46) Mutton chops? (7:47) Who knew? (7:48) So are all these booths run by real gods? (7:50) There are no gods, Chrissy. (7:52) Some douchebags invented that concept (7:54) to manipulate naive souls like yours to their cause. (7:58) These afterlives are run by eternal beings (7:59) called primordials.(8:01) That's what I am. (8:03) Stop fighting the current and flow into Taoism. (8:07) Seems like these souls get to live (8:09) plush, peaceful afterlives, (8:11) and yours get ripped to shreds.(8:12) Make some noise for the Bigelheim Angels! (8:16) Whoa! (8:17) Oh, fucking kill me. (8:18) B-b-b-b-b-Bigelheim! (8:20) Y'all having a good time tonight? (8:22) I can't hear you. (8:23) I'm sorry, you're having a good time tonight.(8:25) Heaven is a place for each of you, (8:27) I promise you, this much is true. (8:29) So come and join our paradise. (8:31) It's limitless and really nice.(8:33) A place to be somebody in death. (8:37) Now, this is an afterlife (8:38) where souls would actually want to spend eternity. (8:41) It's like they're BTS, (8:42) and you're some old guy (8:44) who records BTS covers in their mom's basement.(8:46) These are the assholes I was talking about. (8:49) They're frat boys trying to make you drink their piss. (8:52) Oh, there's that rat bastard mom.(8:55) Okay, Chrissy, let's go. (8:57) Quickie. (8:58) I should have brought the leash.(9:00) I still don't understand (9:01) why I gotta get rid of all these precious memories. (9:03) Most of this stuff is dildos and gardening tools, Starlene. (9:06) Yeah, that's my entire 40s.(9:07) Unfinished business is the reason Gus can't go. (9:10) He died while trying to mend your broken marriage. (9:12) His unfinished business is you.(9:14) Biggest thing I've ever heard. (9:15) No, we need to cut all ties between you two (9:17) so he can cross over. (9:18) Cross over? I just got settled.(9:20) Leany Beany Tortellini and I are doing gangbusters. (9:23) My online business and ladies' fashion (9:25) is gonna get off the ground any day now. (9:27) I can feel it in my garter belt.(9:29) Aha! Divorce papers. (9:31) Oh, God. (9:31) This will help you remember how much you hated each other.(9:33) If I didn't know any better, (9:34) I'd say this was unnecessarily cruel. (9:36) Starlene, you called Gus a serial adulterer... (9:38) Yeah. (9:38) ...who cheated on you multiple times.(9:40) Yeah. (9:40) Doesn't that sting? (9:41) It wasn't multiple times, Laura. (9:43) It was one time with multiple people.(9:45) Actually, it was multiple times with multiple people, (9:47) but one family. (9:48) Lot of sisters. (9:49) Darlene convinced you that you were the star (9:51) of a Truman Show-like experiment (9:52) entitled, What's All the Gus About? (9:54) I still stand by that title.(9:55) But her abuse did reunite me with my biological father, (9:58) who then turned out to be a paid actor! (10:00) Yeah! (10:01) Laura, let's not get our panties in a bunch. (10:03) Speaking of, the duck-pattern pair you got on (10:05) is a real nice choice. (10:07) Nope, though.(10:07) Why, you Norman Bates peeping motherfucker! (10:09) Stop fighting! Stop fighting right now, okay? (10:11) Here is no unfinished business. (10:13) Our love is strong, stronger than death! (10:16) Oh, God. (10:17) Okay, let's maybe put unfinished business (10:19) back on the table.(10:21) The realm is like Palm Springs. (10:23) Weather's always nice, and we have heater pool. (10:26) You're gonna love my afterlife, little girl.(10:28) The email list, by the way, (10:30) is really just a community bulletin type thing. (10:32) We really won't advertise to you or anything. (10:33) Beat it, you fat fucking toe! (10:35) Hey, man, the lady can speak for herself.(10:37) The lady is alive and 13! (10:40) Come find me when you die. (10:42) Aw, man, the slum guy's so cool! (10:44) He runs this, like, resort with a giant projector (10:46) so his souls can watch movies on the lawn. (10:49) You should take some tips.(10:50) You won't make a verbal agreement with me? (10:52) Now you're signing up for other afterlives? (10:54) Who knows what dystopian shitstorm that asshole runs. (10:56) You'll trick souls into living in a pit of agony. (10:59) Hanging with that thumb (11:00) couldn't be worse than your soul hole.(11:02) I know you're a kid who thinks (11:03) the hereafter should be sunshine and ice cream, (11:05) and you judge me for being the genius who created hell. (11:08) If you created hell, then why aren't you there? (11:10) Why are you running a shithole ambulance chasing on Earth? (11:13) Before you came along, I commanded fear and respect (11:16) from every goddamn belief system it ever created. (11:19) And now you're trying to convince yourself (11:20) that you're still on top (11:21) because you don't want to admit you're an outdated fossil.(11:25) I had this stupid idea (11:27) that having a child would make me stronger, (11:29) but you're just too fucking naive. (11:31) You're never gonna get this (11:32) until you open your eyes and experience it. (11:34) Big pretzel out.(11:39) Goddamn, she thinks after her mother. (11:41) I'm telling you, you got two of them now. (11:43) Oh, quick, quick, quick, quick.(11:50) My souls! (11:52) All right, a little bit to the left. (11:53) To the left. (11:54) Okay, that's great.(11:55) Now drop it slowly. (11:56) Come on. (11:57) Any last word before I finger your eyes out (12:00) and fuck your empty skull? (12:01) Just a couple.(12:02) We got him! (12:04) Quick, quick, quick, quick. (12:05) No need to struggle, Satan. (12:07) Because we ain't ever gonna let you go (12:09) from our hearts or our fletches.(12:13) Get this shit? (12:20) Until I live it? (12:22) Well, fuck you, Dad! (12:23) Who's living now? (12:28) Happy hour, boat to Thumb Realm at six. (12:30) Free drink ticket. (12:32) Hmm, I guess I gotta open my eyes and experience it.(12:35) Oh, no, there's so many afterlifes recruiting me. (12:37) It's not good. (13:03) I didn't recognize you in that whacked-out man suit.(13:07) Didn't recognize you without your boss's dick in your mouth. (13:10) Back in the day, (13:11) you would have never fallen for a trap like this. (13:14) You're weaker than ever now.(13:15) I can't believe your bitch-ass sold me out to these jackals. (13:18) They're offering me my own realm. (13:19) It's open concept.(13:20) Everything's buffet-style. (13:22) Spanish! (13:26) Such a path to get biblical, bitches. (13:30) Chrissy, so glad to see you're dead.(13:32) Oh, this place is so great and classy. (13:34) Hey, everybody, this is Chrissy. (13:36) She's here for pool hour.(13:38) Why do they all look like thumbs? (13:40) Here in Thumb Realm, (13:41) we all take on the one true and pure form. (13:43) All is balanced, fair, peaceful. (13:49) That thumb get too much sun? (13:50) Pool time is over.(13:51) Game time! (13:52) Why don't we show Chrissy thumbprint? (13:57) Chrissy, you're gonna love this. (13:59) I present the Great Thumb. (14:02) It measures our love for thumbness.(14:05) Huh, okay. (14:07) Who wants to go first? (14:10) How about you? (14:12) Uh, yes, of course, Thumb. (14:14) No problem.(14:20) This is a Dybbuk box. (14:21) It won't cure him, (14:22) but it sure as shit will contain him forever. (14:24) I don't know, Laura.(14:24) I already put Gus in one wooden box. (14:26) I don't want to do it again. (14:28) Break it off, Darlene.(14:29) I can't! (14:30) Even the bad memories seem not so bad now. (14:32) You're romanticizing a toxic relationship. (14:34) Okay, and you and Satan didn't have good times? (14:36) He's made my life a living hell.(14:38) Without him, you wouldn't have Chrissy, right? (14:40) Whatever, I'm doing this. (14:42) It's okay, baby. (14:43) Don't be scared.(14:46) Get out of the car! (15:00) I'm still going. (15:02) I'm still going. (15:03) Darlene, no! (15:13) So, Alan, how does thumbness help you in your day-to-day life? (15:17) When I think of how fleshy and stumpy I am, (15:22) I never feel down.(15:24) You use pleasant words, (15:26) but the great thumb sees through your lies. (15:27) What? No! (15:28) Thumbness is a dream come true. (15:33) Fuck it! I hate thumbs! (15:35) I miss my fingers and my genitals! (15:37) Oh, fuck! (15:39) So fun.(15:41) Here's Nick's. (15:42) You're insane! (15:43) Hey, now, check yourself or you'll get thumbed. (15:46) Oh, shit! My dad was right.(15:50) Stick yourself up an ass, you fucking thumb! (15:55) Ah, shit! I'm stuck! (15:57) This sucks! (15:58) What sucks? (15:59) That you're on your back like an amputated turtle? (16:02) I'm bad, you useless fucking knuckles! (16:07) Dammit! (16:08) If only I had some hands! (16:13) Thank you so much! (16:14) With thumb gone, (16:15) we can make this place a real paradise! (16:18) Uh, I gotta go find my dad. (16:19) He needs help with his thing, (16:20) but have fun thinking for yourselves again! (16:22) Oh, we will! (16:23) We're gonna have lots of good thinking times! (16:28) Darlene, I should warn you, (16:30) I get violent at hide-and-seek. (16:32) Ask Chrissy.(17:07) Finished business! (17:09) We wanted to succeed as a team, (17:13) even if it was just selling my used underwear online. (17:15) Oh, God, Darlene! (17:17) Not that it matters. Nothing's sold.(17:19) We're gonna die, (17:19) because nobody wants my dumpy dundy! (17:21) Okay, so what you're saying is, (17:22) if someone buys your underwear, (17:24) his actual business will be complete, (17:26) and he'll leave. (17:27) Yes. (17:28) When it has to be from a stranger, (17:29) you'll know we're pitying him.(17:31) Who do we know that would buy your dirty underwear? (17:33) Wait. (17:36) Hello? (17:38) Buy what now? (17:41) Hurry, hurry, hurry! (17:42) Come on, you son of a bitch! (17:50) Darlene? (17:51) What happened? (17:52) Good news. (17:53) Online perverts are sexually attracted to your wife.(17:55) We got our first sale! (17:57) A leany beany! (17:58) I told you. (17:59) Great collection, great hips, (18:01) great lady! (18:06) Goodbye, Gus. (18:08) Thanks for the memories.(18:09) Goodbye, Darlene. (18:12) Hey, real quick. (18:13) Are you gonna send me my half of the money, (18:16) or... (18:16) you know, you keep it.(18:17) I'll hit you up for it on the flip side. (18:23) Hey, you okay? (18:24) I think so. (18:25) It'll be nice getting back to the single life.(18:27) There's a speed dating event (18:29) down by the adult bookstore tomorrow, (18:30) if you wanna... (18:31) No, no, I'd rather go die in a bug bomb. (18:40) Did I just get the craziest deja vu? (18:43) Or is this exactly how you looked (18:45) when we kicked your ass out of hell? (18:46) What the hell? (18:47) Fuck hell! (18:48) I got a new thing going on. (18:49) Word from Whippy Turkle (18:50) is that girl of yours (18:51) is a powerful little bastard.(18:53) So that's what this is all about. (18:55) We can't have you and your Lucy (18:57) free-grabbing up all the power for yourselves now, (18:59) can we? (18:59) Boss feels that wouldn't be fair. (19:01) Where is that Beelzebaby, B.T. Does? (19:04) When you find her, (19:04) you better bring a fucking army.(19:06) I'm talking tanks, nukes, golems (19:08) that shoot lasers out of their dicks, (19:10) because Chrissy don't take shit from nobody. (19:13) She gets that from me. (19:15) We're rebels.(19:16) How sweet, but hard to heart. (19:19) Time to cut out yours. (19:48) Hey, girl! (19:49) It's time to die! (19:53) Get away (19:54) from my (19:56) gun! (20:23) Fuck this, we outtie.(20:25) This ain't over, Satan! (20:27) Not by a long shot! (20:38) Could a fossil go nuclear like that? (20:41) Fuck no! (20:42) Hey, thanks for the save. (20:44) Back at ya. (20:45) You were right.(20:46) This place blows chunks. (20:47) So, you come around, huh? (20:49) Finally see the wisdom of the soul hole. (20:51) Oh, yeah, no, no, no.(20:52) The soul hole's still a shit place (20:53) fucked up beyond all imagination. (20:54) It's just not the worst place out there. (20:56) That's fair enough.(20:57) Come on, kiddo, let's get out of here. (21:06) Hey, Dad? (21:07) What the angel said about you (21:09) getting kicked out of hell, (21:10) was that true? (21:11) Is that why everyone now thinks (21:12) you're a loser? (21:15) Um, yeah. (21:17) I guess.(21:18) Pretty rock and roll. (21:21) Speaking of, (21:22) you wanna go mess with Phil Spector's soul? (21:24) I know where it is. (21:25) Yeah, I'd like that.(21:32) So, how was your weekend? (21:34) It was actually pretty good. (21:36) Yeah? What'd you do? (21:37) Wipe out a fairy forest? (21:39) That's not as two-dimensional as you think. (21:42) Uh, okay.(21:44) What'd that fucker say about me this time? (21:47) Nothing. (21:50) Well, that's right. (21:52) He better not.(21:55) Because if he did, (21:56) I'd say something to him (21:58) and then say something back, so... (22:02) And he knows it. (22:03) He knows he can't say shit. (22:05) Got nothing to say to me.(22:08) If he was like, (22:10) you're ugly, (22:11) I'd be like, (22:14) you are. (22:18) Uh... (22:19) Whoa, was that a bird's nest? (22:20) I didn't know there... (22:22) Nope. (22:23) It's just a pile of sticks.